Birth Order of Children

Thank you to my friend Gina who sent this to me as an email forward (and to my mom who made up a few of her own). I thought it was absolutely hilarious. I fell into the 1st baby category every time with Ava and now I do exactly what the it says for the 2nd baby with Lily. Oh boy! I guess that means pretty soon I will be hiding from my kids when the third child comes along...

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
Preparing for the Birth
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don't bother becau se you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.
The Layette
1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?______________________________________________________
1st baby: At the first sign of d istress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up the baby.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing. ______________________________________________________
1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in. ______________________________________________________
1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.
2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.
3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees. _______________________________________________________
1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, Baby Zoo, Baby Movies and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaners. ______________________________________________________
Going Out
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood. ______________________________________________________
At Home
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children ______________________________________________________
Swallowing Coins
1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.
2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.
3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!
1st child: You fill album after album. Every new look, smile, and activity deserves a place in the album.
2nd child: You try to remember to pull out the camera occasionally. Pictures are fewer and farther apart. Photos are usually with Baby #1. "Are we twins?"
3rd child: What's a camera? Later, the child asks, "Was I adopted? Why aren't there any pictures of me when I was little?"
Taking a Bath
1st child: Bedtime baths are a ritual, as well as during the day anytime there's a bit of spit-up or a little messier diaper.
2nd child: Grab a wash rag when absolutely necessary. Full bath once a week whether he needs it or not.
3rd child: Baths are a dim memory. "Honey, that's why you're a little darker than your siblings...."


Derek and Rachel said...

So when is the third child coming along?... ;)

Elliott said...

D & R - When is your FIRST child coming?!!

Derek and Rachel said...

I will's in the very near future! heheh
We are thinking(if everything goes as planned)we would start trying in the spring. Like April or May. So there you go. :)

Camille said...

Oh my gosh!! I laughed so hard I cried because it is SO TRUE!